Zen Diagram Badger Humour Free Imaginary Biscuit Jobson Jobsworth

We Are All Badgers is a collection of comedy articles, stories and random stuff written by the Big Cheese Badger and his highly trained, but ever so slightly imaginary, team of twonkers. We Are All Badgers is proud to be the twenty-ninth best comedy site for badgers and imaginary onions in yellow shorts for the third year running. Peruse these pages for much badger-related humour and non-badger-related humour. Hmm, have a feeling that sentence could be shortened somehow... Please note that we accept no responsibility for time being wasted as a result of reading this site. Letters demanding compensation regarding this with be immediately burnt. Emailed claims for compensation will be printed-out and then burnt.

  • Jobson Jobsworth's Spoof CVThe Big Cheese Badger's alter ego, Jobson Jobsworth, wants a job. He sent his spoof CV and covering letter to genuine job vacancies all around the UK. Read his CV then feel free to offer him a job. He has a twitter account too. Sometimes he argues with the Big Cheese Badger. That's worrying.
  • Brave New WordA new word has been discovered! About time, I hear you cry, this English language of ours has been on stop for centuries. If only such a thing as the evolution of language existed... Anyway, this new word was found, quite by accident, in the backyard of a retired maths teacher of all people. Check your backyards, people, we could double the size of the dictionary by the end of next Tuesday!
  • Blue Quits!The popular colour Blue has quit. Which means no more Blue Peter, so from now on kids will just watch Peter, which sounds cruel to us. Poor Peter, he's going to get paranoid.
  • Badger OrgyAdmit it, it's what you think about every night. We all do.
  • Meet the Team CompetitionThis is your chance to meet the team behind WeAreAllBadgers. It is a traumatic experience at best but we will ease you through it with several cups of tea and perhaps a Bavarian apple strudel. Please note that this competition is not suitable for children.
  • Octo-BadgerA terrifying Octo-Badger has been sighted. Run away if you value your nice, shiny-white pants.
  • Badgers DirectBadgers Direct are the official sponsor of We Are All Badgers, beating off close competition from eBadger, Compare the Badger, and Buy Any Badger (with it's highly annoying theme tune), all of which are now officially inferior to Badgers Direct. We Are All Badgers will never mention the inferior companies on our website. Never. Ever... Oops.
  • WeAreAllBadgers is well known for running two of the most respected competitions in the world today - Colour of the Day and Word of the Day. These two competitions are regular winners of the Best Competition competition, which we also run. The Best Competition competition is also rapidly gaining critical acclaim and has recently even won the Best Competition competition. It must be good if it wins itself.
  • Strange Sentences that have been uttered by mankind but probably never will be again...To read some strange sentences that have been uttered by mankind but probably never will be again, click there. This is a continuously growing archive and probably the most comprehensive strange sentences that have been uttered by mankind but probably never will be again list in the world. If you are studying strange sentences that have been uttered by mankind but probably never will be again for a school project or thesis, then this is the place for you. Each entry has been rigorously researched to confirm its authenticity. Feel free to send in your own strange sentences that have been uttered by mankind but probably never will be again, but please note that it may have to go through a lengthy and sometimes intrusive validation procedure. For your safety, surgical gloves will be worn at all times.
  • Badger PostFind out how to deliver your mail by Badger Post. It's what BCB uses to send out his free Badger Cards to badger fans.
  • Even More winners of "...of the Day" CompetitionsThere's a surprising amount of them around.
  • The Official Tommy Tomkins Fan ClubOur greatest fan is the great Tommy Tomkins. And conversely we are his greatest fans. Which is why we joined The Official Tommy Tomkins Fan Club. And now you can!
  • Free Cheese Roll for every reader!WeAreAllBadgers have teamed up with the nation's cheese roll retailers to offer every WAAB reader a 100% free, plump and tasty, cheese roll. An amazing offer as we're sure you agree; although please bear in mind that this offer is fictitious.
  • National Badger Day CampaignWhen will National Badger Day be a public holiday? Have your say - send this letter to your MP now!
  • Mole RantThe Mole - the badger's sworn enemy. Obviously. Didn't you know?
  • Real Life Badger NewsRead the funny, real-life events that mischievous badgers get up to. Badgers do have a great sense of humour; before they get shot, that is.
  • QuickFix Security Solutions, number 974 for security. (WARNING: You may be sent to Hell)The previous We Are All Badgers site was protected by a security system that could at best be described as useless. Supposedly it separated the good people from the evil; the good then entered the We Are All Badgers website and the evil were sent straight to Hell... It's no joke being poked for eternity; unless you are on Facebook. See if you can beat the old security system.
  • Joke PageIt's a joke page. Literally. As in a single joke. We are considering upgrading to a Jokes Page...
  • Athlete's Feet for SaleYes, people do buy them.
  • Long Cuts
    Yes, Long Cuts. Opposite to Short Cuts. Enter if you dare...
  • WAAB QuizCreated so that teacher badgers can have a lesson off and pup badgers can read WeAreAllBadgers for an hour. The WAAB Quiz (opens Word document) will revolutionize post-exam "lessons." Send an email to quiz at weareallbadgers dot com for the answers and they will be emailed to you. Or just read twebsite!
  • Awards PageOur proud awards.
  • Smiley FacesFeeling a little down? Then have a look at our Smiley Happy People - a page full of happy folk.
  • Football QuizFootball QuizHave ridiculous amounts of fun by guessing the football teams from the humourous pictorial representations i.e. lame drawings. Click the slightly deflated football to play. Note that the "ridiculous amounts of fun" comment is ridiculously optimistic.
  • Badger QuestCan you save Betty the Badger from certain doom? Delve deep into the terrifying Dungeons of Randomness, battling evilness, randomness and even stupidness along the way. With over fifty ways of dying it would be rude not to.

    Badger Quest is a comedy adventure game where YOU are the hero. Unless you die a horrible but humorous death along the way...
  • Guess the NumberYou and your friends will not know the meaning of fun until you've played the exciting Guess the Number game. The Guess the Number game was voted Best Game Ever by the members of the Guess the Number fan club.
  • Postman + Algebra =Now that's a phrase you don't hear everyday. We hope the postmen and postwomen who inadvertently took part in this challenge found it amusing. Take a bow postpeople!
  • QuestionnaireAs we would like to get to know our readers better, we've written some pertinent questions for you fine folk to answer. As an incentive, every completed questionnaire will be entered into a drawer to win a signed photo of our greatest fan, Tommy Tomkins. The drawer in question is the second from bottom in our grey filing cabinet, next to our assorted fish collection and on top of a small, flat man, who quite frankly, has overstayed his welcome; our office is small enough as it is without small, flat people inserting themselves under things.
  • The Good or Evil TestConcerned whether you are good or evil? Then take this conclusive test to find out once and for all.
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