Athlete's feet for sale

Buy a genuine athlete's foot. Athletes available range from the beginner to the professional; from the promising, gifted young athlete to the retired professional.

Please state your preference on:

• Which athlete or type of athlete is required (specific athletes cannot be guaranteed but a best match will be supplied).
• Which foot (left or right) is preferred.
• What distinguishing marks you require, such as birthmarks, growths or deformities.

Special requests are also available such as the removal of a toe or even whole bones. Please note that requests are cut to order to maintain freshness and extend longevity, therefore there might be a delay while we process your order (i.e. chase the athlete around the running track).

To appease the moral crowd, we will always endeavour to supply the athlete with a high quality wooden replacement. This enables them to continue their training, albeit at a lower level of performance.

Also available

Athlete's hand

A genuine hand of an athlete.

Athlete's torso

A genuine torso of an athlete.

Athlete's cheese

A genuine piece of an athlete's cheese. Requests are stolen to order.

Available soon

A gardener's foot! A geniune foot of a gardener can be yours! Again, to appease the moral crowd, we will endeavour to supply the gardener with a tool of their choice to replace it, so they can walk and dig at the same time, for example.

Return to the Badger Sett