Meet the Team

Short bios of the WeAreAllBadgers staff are below for your persual. If, even after reading about them, you would like to meet the team then enter the Meet The Team Competition, details below.

• Tom is our editor - he edits. He is actually editically challenged, which does not help. And it also does not help that he doesn't even know what it means. His hobbies include growling, pole-vaulting and selling chalk. Sometimes at the same time.
• Marian is our researcher, a sour-faced old crow and a confirmed halfwit. Life dealt Marian an unfortunate blow at the tender age of eight, when she had two-thirds of her brain accidentally sucked out of her head due to a poorly executed liposuction operation undertaken by her mother. Marian's mother was trying to remove the fat in Marian's stout man-like neck, in an attempt to make her more attractive to the opposite sex. However, she got distracted by a man who had kippers for eyebrows and her home-made liposuction device slipped into Marian's ear hole and sucked out most of her brain. Following this failure, the opposite sex continue to struggle to deduce that she is in fact of the opposite sex. Despite the debilitating setbacks she has since done remarkably well to integrate herself back into society and to achieve the lofty position of responsibility that is a WAAB researcher. She even has hobbies; these include searching, searching again, swaying her empty head and buying chalk (at extortionate prices).
• Silas is our resident resident. He has his eye on the editor position as residing no longer presents a challenge to him. We are currently re-evaluating the need for a resident as we are unsure as to what his exact role is. His hobbies include killing cereals, slapping people who proclaim that they love voles and creating hairline fractures in pole-vaulting poles. As a sideline he also dabbles in global genocide with, as yet, little success.
• Chris is the columnist. He is talented beyond belief i.e. none of us believe it. Chris likes to gnaw on bits of rotting wood and is often seen lurking at bus stops attempting to poo in random people's shopping bags. He achieves excellent personal results in the latter.
• Bob. Not sure what Bob does. Great name though. His hobbies include blowing in cat arses, licking worms and spreading jam onto live rats.
• Hij. Nope, don't know what Hij does either. You can usually find him vole-vaulting in leather socks. Just leather socks.
• And last but not least... the Big Cheese Badger. The Big Cheese Badger, as the name suggests, is the boss. And he's a badger. What more do you want to know?

We hope that this brief overview will convince you of the merits of entering the Meet The Team Competition. To enter all you have to do is write a short paragraph, ten million words or under, on why you want to meet the team. Email your answers here: bcb at weareallbadgers dot com. The most badgertastic answers will win. Runners-up will receive assorted signed photos of the team wearing ill-fitting knitted jumpers with matching leg-warmers.

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