Questionnaire

What is your name?

• Bob
• Theodore
• Alexandrina
• Aloysius
• Gwenllian
• Other, please specify:

What is your age?

• 4
• 180
• minus 28
• 24 years and 45 days
• Forgot, cos me is stupid
• Other, please specify:

What is your sex?

• Male
• Female
• Hermaphrodite (In accordance with the Data Protection Act, this information will only be viewed by at most five random strangers, and one person who is hiding in a bin)
• Asexual
• None of the above

What is your favourite animal beginning with Badge?

• Badgerfly
• Badge-o-potamus
• Badge-u-tang
• Badgersaurus
• Badger!

What is your favourite nostril?

• Left nostril
• Right nostril
• No preference
• I decline to answer as I have no nose

Do you save random and not so random objects because, and I quote, 'they could come in handy'?

• No
• Only random objects
• Only not so random objects
• Only if they could come in handy
• Yes, I have a compulsion to collect and hoard all items. But it's not funny; it's very serious

When showering do you name each droplet of water to make it a more personal experience?

• No
• No, as I shower in sh!te
• I just name the water as a whole
• I would if I could think and speak really, really fast
• Yes. And when I breathe I also name each molecule of air to again make it a more personal and therefore enjoyable experience. As a result of this I do not have much spare time

What is your favourite word?

• What
• Badger
• Other
• Other, please specify:

What is your favourite head movement?

• Shake
• Nod
• Twirl
• Spin
• Rhythmic nodding
• Prefer to keep still

Do you like to hide in bins and chew on bits of rotting food?

• No
• Depends on the bin
• Depends on the bits of rotting food
• Yes, I recommend it

What is your favourite colour?

• Blue
• Green
• Yellow
• Red
• Tan
• Trescelin
• Other, please specify:

What is your favourite writing implement?

• Pen
• Pencil
• Crayon
• Charcoal
• The missus
• Badger manservant - available now from Badgers Direct!

What is your favourite kind of pet?

• Dog
• Cat
• Rodent
• Bird
• Fish
• Badger!

Do you like filling in questionnaires?

• No
• Yes
• Don't mind
• As long as there is a point to them and they're not just silly

When you eat beans on the toast, do you have any preference, location wise, on which bean to eat first? (Please specify in terms of: a bearing in degrees from north of your plate and distance (in that direction) in cm. A scatter graph will be produced to display the results.)

• No preference - a bean is a bean
• Yes, I thought it was only me! I always firstly eat the bean on a bearing of degrees from north and a distance of cm in that direction
• I have a phobia of beans and hence cannot go anywhere near them
• I notice that there are no options for toast-first eaters here. Clearly you do not consider supplying any toast options as important. You have lost my respect. It saddens me.

What is your favourite letter of the English alphabet?

• a
• b
• c
• d
• e
• f
• g
• h
• i
• j
• k
• l
• m
• n
• o
• p
• q
• r
• s
• t
• u
• v
• w
• x
• y
• z
• No preference

What is your favourite number?

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• 5
• 6
• 7
• 8
• 9
• 10
• 11
• 12
• 13
• 14
• 15
• 16
• 17
• 18
• 19
• 20
• 21
• 22
• 23
• 24
• 25
• 26
• 27
• 28
• 29
• 30
• 31
• 32
• 33
• 34
• 35
• 36
• 37
• 38
• 39
• 40
• 41
• 42
• 43
• 44
• 45
• 46
• 47
• 48
• 49
• 50
• 51
• 52
• 53
• 54
• 55
• 56
• 57
• 58
• 59
• 60
• 61
• 62
• 63
• 64
• 65
• 66
• 67
• 68
• 69
• 70
• 71
• 72
• 73
• 74
• 75
• 76
• 77
• 78
• 79
• 80
• 81
• 82
• 83
• 84
• 85
• 86
• 87
• 88
• 89
• 90
• 91
• 92
• 93
• 94
• 95
• 96
• 97
• 98
• 99
• 100
• 101
• 102
• 103
• 104
• 105
• 106
• 107
• 108
• 109
• 110
• 111
• 112
• 113
• 114
• 115
• 116
• 117
• 118
• 119
• 512
• Other, please specify:

Do you have a small scar on your left bum cheek caused by sitting on a nail when you were a child?

• No
• Badger
• Yes, that's amazing! How did you know?
• I refuse to talk about my bum in any way

What is your favourite corner of a piece of standard A4 paper?

• Top left
• Top right
• Bottom left
• Bottom right
• Prefer the centre
• No preference

How many times have you eaten beans on the toast in your lifetime?

• 0
• 4
• 33
• minus 143
• Not sure
• Prefer toast on the beans
• I have a phobia of beans and hence cannot go anywhere near them
• Other, please specify:

What is your favourite length of stick?

• Long
• Short
• Medium
• Slightly longer than medium
• Slightly shorter than medium
• Don't like sticks

If you have any other comments that you wish to add about yourself, or how your day has been, or a description of a pink elephant in only two words, or anything else for that matter, then please add them here:

If you wish to be entered into the draw for a signed photo of Tommy Tomkins then please enter your details below:

• Name:
• Email:
•  
• Yes, I wish to be entered into the draw for a Tommy Tomkins signed photo. Please contact me as soon as possible if I am the lucky winner.