Weekly Award Winners

The winners of the prestigious We Are All Badgers Weekly Awards have just been announced! And the lucky winners are...

Nostril of the Week

The left nostril. The right nostril finished a very respectable second.

Button of the Week

Button

Last week was a tie:

Buttons

Halfwit of the Week

Pastry-obsessed Seth North, of West Eastbourne, who ate his own head because a random stranger told him it was a large Cornish pasty.

Alien Invasion of the Week

That time when the tiny aliens landed inside ours brains and told us to eat as many carrots as we could thus creating a worldwide carrot shortage. The carrot-related mayhem which followed was the perfect cover for the aliens to invade the Earth and enslave the human population. The Big Cheese Badger then led the rebellion against the aliens and defeated them by digging holes in their lawns which annoyed them so much they moved to another planet.

Letter of the Week

Mr Carrington's letter to the delightful Miss Hogbloater detailing his desire to initiate courtship and gain her fair hand in marriage. He explained the wonderful life they would have together in his country house, Carrington Hall, and the large family they would raise there. Onions were also mentioned.

The Weakest of the Week

Tim McWeak who died weak this week from a fatal pinch.

Week of the Week

The second week of July 1997, when, for the first time ever, a freshly cooked New Zealand lamb shank gained sentient thought and became a sensational hit in the world of entertainment. Unfortunately, while on a country walk, the lamb shank was eaten by a hungry friend who forgot to bring his packed lunch. The next day, for the first time ever, some fresh excrement gained sentient thought then drowned in a toilet.