Real Life Badger News
Read about the mischievous things badgers get up to in these newspaper reports. Badgers do have a great sense of humour; before they get shot and killed, that is.
Bizarre Horror Movie
Boris the Badger hit the headlines when his mischievous plan backfired with disasterous consequences. Boris, well-known for his tomfoolery and practical jokes, cheekily staged a fake attack on an elderly couple, notorious for their dislike of badgers. His aim was to recreate the feeling of a 'bizarre horror movie' for the badgerphobic pair which he successfully accomplished. However, he realised his hilarious plan had backfired when he was shot and killed. Read a newspaper report on the story here. Notice how they have portrayed Boris as a crazed psychopath; it just shows you can't believe everything you read.
Another noteworthy badger who made the news recently was Harry the Badger who played a prank on a group of gullible humans. The jovial badger pretended he was a crazed beast and chased a young family into their house and all the while giving them his trademark spooky stare. He was about to reveal that it was all a hilarious joke when he was captured in a jam-sandwich-based trap. Read all about it here. What they don't say in the child-friendly article was that the police then arrived and shot and killed the now not so jovial badger. When will humans get a sense of humour and stop killing badgers because of their silly pranks?
Badgers Are Evil!?
News just in - badgers are evil! Or rather that's just the opinion of some farmers and hunters in this disturbing newspaper article. We know otherwise though; badgers are cuddly creatures with cheeky grins and a passion for mischief. The article itself does not make for pleasant reading and the Big Cheese Badger has lost large crumbly chunks of respect for both farmers and hunters; we feel they need to be taught a swift lesson but we need your help. We suggest hunting the hunters and farming the farmers, but we won't complain if you'd prefer farming the hunters and hunting the farmers. It's totally up to you. Let us know how you get on though as the most impressive acts of revenge will win a satsuma, pre-peeled for your convenience. And also pre-eaten for your convenience. Please send us your address so we can post the peelings to you posthaste. Please note in order to claim your prize photographic evidence of the corpse or corpses will be required. We Are All Badgers does not accept any liability for your acts of revenge, but thanks you for them.