National Badger Day Campaign
Join our campaign to make National Badger Day a UK public holiday! Just print this letter and send it to your local MP!
Dear local MP (sorry, I don't know your name and I can't be bothered to find out),
Re: Campaign To Make National Badger Day A Public Holiday
I wish to bring to your attention growing concerns from the British public regarding the current status of National Badger Day, held annually on 6th October. This important day in our calendar does not currently have national holiday status and this oversight needs to be urgently addressed. This is why I have joined the Campaign To Make National Badger Day A Public Holiday, or CTMNBDAPH for short.
Our beloved National Badger Day is an opportunity for everyone to learn about badgers, take part in badger-related activities and even pretend they're a badger by digging holes in their neighbour's lawn. But sadly not everyone is able to take full advantage of the day because most people have to go to work and only jobless people, like Jobson Jobsworth, are free all day to celebrate it.
In a recent imaginary poll National Badger Day was voted the country's favourite day, beating even Christmas Day to the top spot. So why does Christmas Day enjoy holiday status and National Badger Day doesn't? Data released by the Office for National Badger-Related Statistics shows that 6th October, National Badger Day, is the day when most people take the day off work. Coincidence? I think not.
The CTMNBDAPH was founded by the Big Cheese of We Are All Badgers, Big Cheese Badger, and he campaigns tirelessly to put right this terrible wrong. He has even raised the matter in Parliament several times, after he manages to sneak in with his fake ID pretending to be an MP for the Badger Party, but the Prime Minister ignores his concerns and changes the subject to things like recessions or global warming. His attitude is unacceptable.
Big Cheese Badger is also working himself to the bone every afternoon between 2:10pm and 2:13pm sending tweet after tweet trying to get #CTMNBDAPH trending on twitter but he's exhausted and desperately needs a three-week holiday. Please help this true hero of the cause.
So join the CTMNBDAPH and add your voice to the growing masses. You can make a difference, you can make the Prime Minister listen to sense and you can make some more fake MP ID for Big Cheese Badger.
I look forward to hearing from you.
A concerned citizen (sorry, I don't know my name and I can't be bothered to find out)
PS - Note that CTMNBDAPH is an acronym, not an abbreviation, so should be pronounced accordingly.
PPS - Also, the T is silent.